Tuesday, June 8, 2010



New Mortal Kombat SOMETHING. I don't know what it's for, but I don't care. I just want it NOW.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Guest Post: Fio

The Top 5 Franchises that Deserve Another Shot

[Editor's note: Fio decided to leave out Firefly because it's too obvious at this point. And we're all tired of hearing about it.]

Why do bad things happen to good series? How is it that Twilight books continue getting published, CSI is going on its eleventh season solving crimes using goddamn magic, and the team behind the “Genre” Movies hasn't gotten drawn and quartered while worthier franchises are left by the roadside, allowed to fall into relative obscurity? I thought that for this guest blog I'd take a look at some of the canceled or forgotten media works that I feel deserve another chance at bat.

5. The Crow

Can we make a pact? Can we forget that The Crow: Wicked Prayer ever happened? In fact, let's forget about all of the film sequels to the adaptation of O'Barr's Graphic Novel. None of the sequels have even come close to capturing the eclectic, dark power of the original film. What the series needs at this point is to go back to its roots, do a complete overhaul with somebody worthy at the helm. If at all possible, I'd beg David Slade (Hard Candy) to drop the reins to Twilight: Eclipse and consider re-imagining a new beginning for this series. Of course, it seems like he might be doing something along the same lines with his upcoming adaptation of The Shadow, but that remains to be seen.

4. Toxin

Allow me to state outright that I'm really not a huge fan of the symbiote characters as a rule. Venom had far too much of that 90s antihero air about him and I find Carnage completely unrelatable as a character. Toxin, however, gave me some hope for the breed. Unlike the previous two, there's some really interesting pathos that can be wrung out of Toxin's situation and I'd love to see somebody give it a try. The problem with resurrecting the Toxin storyline as a series as opposed to the original miniseries is that the driving force of the comic has already been resolved. It would make a much more interesting storyline to pull Pat away from his family once more and see how he lives in his self-imposed exile.

3. Dark Angel

So, maybe I have a thing for cute girls who were the subject of horrific scientific experiments and left completely unhinged.

Alright, I'm being coy; I'm positive I have a whole “broken bird” complex. It should come as no surprise, then, that I really had a thing for this show. Unfortunately, it was canceled right along with the end of the second season, with the revelation of a massive cliffhanger that left a number of plot threads unresolved. Sure, it was followed up with a number of sub-par novelizations, but if there's a series I'd love to see get the Serenity treatment, this is it.

2. The Sarah Connor Chronicles

If I could do a list of all the shows I enjoyed that Fox canceled before their time I'd probably choke to death on my own vitriol before I even got halfway through. Here's another show that was cut down right as it hit its stride. SCC made some really risky moves with its narrative, and I'm afraid to mention anything I found particularly effective here as I'd urge everyone to give this a shot on DVD.

1. Darkstalkers

Think back to the last time you played a Marvel vs. Capcom game. Now think about the absolute sluttiest looking character available for play therein. Odds are you pictured either Morrigan or Felicia from Darkstalkers. Darkstalkers is a fighting game involving spins on classic Gothic monsters (Frankenstein, Vampires, Mummies, etc). Later games would branch outward, including characters like an uzi wielding version of Little Red Riding Hood and an Australian punk-rock zombie who chewed on his opponents with his ribcage. If after hearing that description you're not as desperate for a Darkstalkers 4 as I am, I think we may need to seriously examine our friendship.