Monday, April 19, 2010

Getting to Know You

There's a set of questions that usually get asked on a first date, ranging from "where are you from?" to "what do you do/want to do for a living?" to "what's your favorite color?" These create a very basic foundation for two people to get to know each other. And these are important. But when the two people are in the same, very specific sub-culture, say, Geek Culture, there's a whole new set of queries, practical and hypothetical that get tossed around. These questions are RIDICULOUS. To the outsider, they're gibberish. To the geekily-inclined, they are still hilarious. Ladies and gentlemen, our geeky "Getting to Know You" questions. Feel free to use these in your own dorky relationships, romantic or otherwise. Some of them you've probably heard before. In the meantime, you can use them to get to know us a little.

Who's your favorite big-name superhero?
Ren: Batman. He's the goddamn Batman.
Dylan: He truly is. Much as I love Batman, I love Green Lantern more. Super-imagination power? That is coolness incarnate.
Ren: And your Chucks are green because of it.
Dylan: Uh-huh.

So, you're a Power Ranger. What color would you want to be?
Dylan: Green. Always green. Green Lantern, Green Ranger, whatever. That's gonna be the answer to all those questions. Tommy is the man and that gold armor kicks ass. Plus, uh, Dragonzord? Hell, yes.
Ren: Grey or Violet. Grey is my favorite color, but if I had to choose a color... actually, let me rephrase that. I developed a Violet Ranger for MMPR (Editor's Note: that means Mighty Morphin', kiddies) and ever since the color Violet has stuck with me. Plus, there's only one other Violet Ranger.

Which Star Trek captain would you want to serve with./under?
Ren: Picard.
Dylan: Thank you. That is the right answer. Sisko would have also been acceptable.

What are your primary nerd fandoms?
Dylan: Well, I'm a born-bred-and-raised Trekkie, so that's always first in my heart, but these last few years I mostly geek out to Joss Whedon stuff.
Ren: My whole family is fans of Star Trek. We've been to conventions for fuck's sake. Also, I love me some Joss. Power Rangers, Mystic Knights, and Tokukatsu in general. Batman, X-Men. Oh, I could be embarrassing and add in Sailor Moon, because I've been a fan of that since 3rd grade. Revolutionary Girl Utena, Gargoyles, Pokemon. Now, are we counting film nerdiness, too?
Dylan: I don't see why not.
Ren: Kevin Smith, Tarantino.
Dylan: Well, now my list looks wimpy. ESCALATION! I love superhero lore in general, and used to be mostly a DC guy, because I grew up on the DC Animated Universe. That stuff is the shit. But I like Marvel now too, and some indies like Hellboy and movies like The Incredibles that don't stem from any major publisher. I like Star Wars even though George Lucas broke my heart and I would love for him to die slowly and painfully. I really love Battlestar Galactica, but only the new one.
Dylan: MUPPETS! No, for serious, though, I haven't seen it.
Ren: Oh, what video game fandoms? Because I think I'm more of a gamer than you in terms of breadth of games.
Dylan: I can't argue with that. I pretty much just like Halo, Pokemon and licensed tie-in games to my other fandoms, like Marvel: Ultimate Alliance or Star Wars: Battlefront II.
Ren: Legend of Dragoon, any old 8-bit games, which I collect, Final Fantasy, Jade Cocoon, Eco-Creatures, Legend of Zelda, Crash Bandicoot, Spyro the Dragon, Soul Calibur, Mario, of course.
Dylan: Well, yeah, everyone loves Mario.
Ren: But have you seen Mario's Time Machine?
Dylan: Not in person.
Ren: That's what I thought. Or did you donate a game to The Angry Video Game Nerd? No.
Dylan: I get it, I get it, you're the superior gamer. IGGINS! Oh, yeah, Invader Zim.

What are you big geek life goals?
Ren: Attend Comic-Con, publish my fan-fiction on the internet and finally cos-play. And get my Batman paper published in a real literary journal.
Dylan: Put simply: Be Joss Whedon. I will wear his skin.
Ren: Like a human suit?
Dylan: It will be glorious. Call me conceited or self-centered or whatever, but I don't feel like my life will be truly complete until I am God to a generation of nerds. I want to write and produce television and work in the comic and film media as well. And own the internet. That'd be cool too.
Ren: I thought Al Gore owned the internet.
Dylan: He, too, will be woven into my human suit.
Ren: Oh! And I want to be the source of an internet meme.
Dylan: MEEEEEEEEEME. Is fun to say.

What's your lifetime geek achievement so far?
Dylan: I won two consecutive pitch contests at Star Trek conventions in 2007 and 2008. The first one was a movie pitch contest, where I proposed a sort of twist-around of the idea behind First Contact. Picard has to stop a crazed Starfleet captain from erasing the Borg from time despite his personal feelings. The second was a TV series pitch, which was a sort of Star Trek-meets-Law and Order type dealie. What made it cool was that they were judged by one of Gene Roddenberry's aides from the TNG days. Also, they gave me lots of free merch.
Ren: Writing a lengthy academic paper about Batman and presenting it at a literary conference. Also, using Batman to teach literary devices to my eleventh-grade students while student-teaching. And finally completing my Mystic Knights action figure collection. After TEN YEARS.

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